love is..
kisses in a beanbag chair,
the two of us with no one there.

love is..
the moment that i climb the stairs
to hold you in my arms after we make love.

love is..
waking up to see your face,
kisses in the morning rain.

love is..
the only thing that keeps me sane
at the end of the day is that i got you..

"love is" -backstreet boys

think about it...

"Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain of the past. A covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. A celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one, like a team braced against the tempest civil world. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of feelings long held. Promises made long ago. In the sacred spaces of our hearts."

- Lucas Scott [one tree hill]

this is what i've realized:

*freshman year - the first year of highschool. You're new to everything. You try to fit in and possibly establish a reputation, g0od or bad.

*sophomore year - the year you have fun, party, and hang out more with all your new friends.

*junior year - the year you stress out over sch0ol & SAT's. The most drama you'll ever have.

*senior year - the year you find out who all your true friends are.

VALENTINES DAY

it was simply was amazing...

s0o MY valentines day plans for arjay worked out perfectly! i'm s0o glad it worked out.. i was kinda scared it wouldnt work out cuz of the snow, or that the people who i needed help from wouldnt cooperate but it worked out amazingly.. lol okay.. so this is how it went: my dad was being real pain in the ass about me driving in the snow, which is understandable but i got him to let me drive eventually.. i was madd cautious on the road lol.. so yeh.. my plans, if i hadn't told you previously was to dress up real nice and have him dress up nicely.. then id take him to mcdonalds and have a table for two set up with a white tablecloth on it, and thered be a single rose in a small vase and a "RESERVED" sign in the center. and we'd eat there as if it wa a fancy restaurant lol.. ill get to the details later.. SUPER cute! haha and because ofthe weather, i was s0o scared it wouldnt work out..

so i went to mcdonalds early to set up, around 6ish..  it was funny because as i was setting up, there were a couple of families there, and i came in with all this stuff, went straight to the table and got started.. they were just staring at me and wondering wut i was doing lol.. [one of them waited there for a while to find out wut i was doing].. *i was in a red tube-top dress, hair curled, long earrings and all prettied up n everything.. i set up the table, put the table cloth on and the length was perfect.. i put water in the vase and put the rose in it.. then i put the RESERVED sign on the table with his valentine card with his name on it under it.. then i went to the cashier [i was really lucky she was young and underst0od g0od english] and i told her that i was doing something really cute for my boyfriend and if i could order 8 micChickens without mayo (cuz thats how he eats it and thats ALL he eats), 2 medium fries, and a large coke in advanced and have her hold it on the side until i get back.. she sed it was fine and then i gave them this really nice l0oking silver fancy tray to put everything on and it was s0o exciting cuz now all i had to do was go pick him up.. the lady even sed that shed watch my table to make sure no one touched it =)

so then i drove to arjays house and picked him up.. he had to wear a blindfold so he wouldnt see that we were going to mcdonalds.. i drove aorund kinda to make him confused and to make sure he didnt figure out by the turns and stuff where we were going hahaa.. then wen i got there, i left him in the car blindfolded and made sure eberythign was ready.. i asked the lady for one more favor which was that when me and him come in and sit down if she could like bring the tray over to us and she happily agreed =D [this girl was awesome, like she was s0o nice and helpful] so i got him out of the car, still blindfolded and he was taking FOREVER and my feet were freezing cuz i was freaking wearing heels! lol and so we got into the d0ors to mcdonalds and i t0ok off the blindfold and he was s0o0oo surprised! he was all smiling and laughing and it was awesome.. the table was nicely done.. we sat down, and he was still in shock and the lady who was helping me came over with the tray of f0od and he l0oked s0o happy  it was just PERFECT. haha im pretty sure he loved it.. lol

i played some music from my IPOD as we ate and i wasnt even embarassed or anything or care about anyone else there.. i was just happy that everything came together and he was lovin it.. cuz i just wanted to do something cute for him for valentines day cuz lord knows hes done s0o much for me <3 i am in love this boy and he definitely deserves more than what i did for him tonight, but i knew hed appreciate the lil things like a 'romantic' dinner at mcdonalds as well.. hehe.. at the end, wen we were taking pictures, one man, who was there from the time i set up to the time we were leaving offered to take our picture and told arjay "this is really cute.. she came early to set up and everything" .. hehe yay!

so then we went home at like 7:40ish and arjay needed an hour or so to set up for his thing.. so i chilled and then he picked me up at 9, blindfolded me at the d0or.. i got to the d0or and he did something, but i wasnt sure wut and then i t0ok off the blindfold and he told me to go get soething in his trunk.. (trying to be slick but i had a feeling there was something in there) hahaha and wen i opened it, a ball0on flew out and there was a sign in the inside of his trunk d0or that sed HAPPY VDAY! with two roses and a card (#1).. it was s0o0o CUTE!!..  so then i had to be blindfolded again and he drove me around.. i TOTALLY knew he was driving around to random places to get me confused t0o lol.. then we stopped somewhere and he walked me out and i had to go up a bunch of like cement stairs, so i knew we were at someones house.. he opened the d0or and goes "uhh reservations for two please" and a girl in a high screech, weird-accented voice goes "oh, table for two right this way" lolol it was funny..  PLUS i was still blindfolded..

and then on the way to wherever he was taking me, he freaking didnt tell me there were steps i had to go down and i almost slipped! wut an ass hahah kayjay.. but yeh so i knew we were in the basement of his house.. and he takes off the blindfold and i see: 
-little candles that spell out "I  U" 
-another valentines day card (#2)
-pink rose petals all over the fl0or more candles 
-cupcakes & brownies,
-ice cream,
-plates/bowls of candy, whip cream, chocolate syrup, sprinkles

it was s0o gorgeous! the whole thing l0oked amazing.. i couldnt believe how beautiful everything was.. he really went all out.. he always makes me feel s0o special and i dont kno if i deserve it.. hes amazing and im so0 lucky to have him.. anyways, we ate some icecream with marshmallows n syrup n graham crackers and he had out some blankets and pillows on the fl0or and i just laid in his arms.. it was romantic and i really did feel like it was just me & him <3... ::BARF HERE:: lol

i didnt wanna go, but he drive me home at like 10:30 and i came home and shared some of the leftover desserts with the family, then went up stairs.. and still arjay had ONE MORE SURPRISE FOR ME. i open my bedr0om d0or and my r0om i lit up in red lights.. there are red rose petals, another valentines day card (#3) and a scrapb0ok/album of "26 reasons why i love you" and another single rose in a vase..

it honestly to0k my breath away.. AGAIN.. lol

i honestly don't kno how to explain to all of you how much i love this guy.. he treats me like im the only girl in this world and i can't help but feel happy and special wen im with him.. i love him s0o much and wen i l0ok back on this day, years from now, i KNO im gonna be smiling and remembering every detail of it.. it was really my first and most amazing valentines day ever.. i'm s0o lucky to have him..

i really am..

daamn.. i havent been on here in madd long. things l0ok a lil different.. ehh i guess xanga kinda fell off for me for a while cuz i never had time to write in it everyday.. or i was t0o lazy lol. i guess the only thing imma write today is i got into PENN STATE University Park! i AM going to college! haha.. im waiting for two other colleges now, so we'll see wut goes on.. people are madd surprised that i only applied to three sch0ols..  but i guess its all g, cuz at least i got suttin if i dont get into the other two.. =D im happy. but now my dad's makin it all stressful cuz hes goin psycho about financial aid. oh wells.. i guess thats all.. i love my family. i love my friends. i love my boyfriend. and i STILL love this xanga layout. life's g0od.

last day of sch0ol

omg JUNIOR YEAR IS OVER! can i get a haaaaiiilll yes!! omg, seriously this 2005-2006 year had so many more bad days than g0od.. DRAMA, deaths, tears, lonliness, DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA... but i guess things started l0oking up after prom.. i always knew junior prom would be the best part f junior year (even tho not everyone went through with the plans we laid out in the summer).. but its all g0od.. it was a year that went by fast, every day went by s0o slow.. im s0o done with that year and im ready for the summer! i have a feeling its gonna be a g0od one .. im definitely glad summer vacations here cuz ive already been having a g0od summer s0o far, with all the half days and no sch0ol work to do.. time to get rid of this year and start off new with the summer of '06!--last summer of high sch0ol, baby! ahh s0o crazy!

so today was the last day of sch0ol for me and a bunch of friends.. a lot of us got off at 9:35am right after our first final of the last day because we didnt have 4B finals.. so we met at mellers n then headed over to OMEGA DINER--me, meller, arjay, kamille, n justin... had a fun time, just laughing and talking and eating and wut not.. then afterwards we went to the park cuz it as still madd early and we had nothing else to do lol.. this old lady was like taking pictures of us.. madd creepy.. but I GUESS she was taking pics of the structures in the park, but she madd coulda been a pedophile for teenagers, [if that even makes sense]..

then i headed over to kamilles and hung out with her and arjay..  lemme just say that i now see the WHOLE picture of everything & more.. hahahaha.. its very interesting to see it all laid out in front of you.. you can finally see how everything CONNECTS.. riiight kamille?? LOL....... yehh...

wow... we're basically freaking seniors!.. well the class of '06 seniors still gotta graduate tomorro, but basically one more year!! ::sigh::.. its scary but so exciting.. but its also madd depressing because so many people are leaving this summer and im gonna miss them s0o0o much.. gosh... lets definitely make this summer a HOTT-ASS-BANGIN g0od one.. lol.. im def l0oking forward to it